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If it’s Earth-shattering orgasms you’re after, consider one of these hot procedures. Silicone lubricant is excellent during sex for its silky texture and longevity. Not to mention its ability to leave skin feeling moisturised. But Emma warns that silicone lube doesn’t play nicely with all silicone toys, so keep that in mind before you play. Our experts agree that clitoral stimulation is a surefire way for vulva owners to achieve orgasm, and Emma loves the Coco Suction Vibrator for its ability to pleasure the clitoris. Melissa says it’s important to reassure them that using a toy in the bedroom is more about new ways of experiencing pleasure together, instead of sex not being good enough.

In those cases, "be very mindful about application and use," Switzer says. "Gently test temperature items on a small area of skin to gauge sensitivity." If you have any concerns about an object, run it by your ob/gyn (awkward conversation, we know, but better than an infection!) or skip it. Oh man, you’re the only person who can answer that question. Have you ever used toys or implements during sex with your wife, and, if so, what has her general opinion of them been? If she’s been put off, then it’s worth considering how much more upset she might be to discover you using a sex toy alone.

If you are the first time, we feel your struggle